Is It Hard For You To Say No To People?
If you love to help people, it’s in your nature to say Yes when someone asks you to lend a hand. That’s a beautiful thing…until it isn’t. Until you realize you’re saying Yes to pretty much everyone but yourself.
One of my favorite Creative Oasis Mantras to share with my clients who have a tough time saying no is this:“When you say no to someone else, you’re really saying yes to yourself.
”Putting that positive spin on a potentially negative interaction has been life changing for many of the wonderful women I coach. It’s also an important piece of the part two I promised you last week for our current Creative Oasis Quest. Now you get to take the next simple small steps to move gently out of over-scheduled overwhelm and into more of the peaceful Creative Oasis Moments that light you up.
Over the last week or so you took the super small step of adding a creative “me” time experience to the top of your To-Do List. (If you didn’t ~ no worries. You can still jump in at this point.) This was an easy, compassionate way for you to gently open your heart and mind to the possibility of making time for your creative desire.
How did you feel?
Did you feel anxious? As in, “I’ll never make this happen no matter how many times I write it at the top of my list.”
Did you feel hopeful? As in, “Hey, this might just happen.”
Did you feel downright giddy? As in, “Hallelujah! I’m finally going to spend some time taking photos with my camera…or playing piano…or writing…or planting in my garden…or coloring…or going to see that cool new exhibit in the arts district.”
All of those are perfectly normal responses. (I’d love it if you’d share your own reaction in the comment section below.)
To help you move a bit closer to the joyful feeling of saying Yes to your creative desires, I invite you to join me in practicing saying No.
This week the compassionate challenge for your Creative Oasis Quest is to say No to one thing on your list that you really don’t need to, have to or want to do.
It could be something big like saying No when asked to help with yet another above and beyond project at school or work.
It might be something small like saying No to an impromptu lunch date with a friend when you’ve already set aside some much-needed time for yourself.
Now here’s the really fun part! Each time you graciously say No to someone else, you get to say Yes to yourself. Gently turn your attention back to the creative “me” time experience you’ve added to your To Do List for the last week and ask yourself, “What’s one small step I can take to enjoy this today?”
If the creative experience you’ve chosen feels too big to do all at once, I’d be happy to help you break it down into small, doable steps. Just leave a comment below or send me an email.
Just so you know, I’ll be right there with you this week. Like you, I have a lot on my plate and a near constant stream of new possibilities as well. So, I’ll be practicing what I preach…saying No to the things that I can release in good conscious while saying Yes to more good creative self-care in the process.
You might be surprised to find that the creative “me” time I want more of is simply to spend time coloring more often. The Creative Oasis Coloring Parties I’ve been sharing are so fun, but I have to admit, I haven’t been coloring at home as often as I’d like. This goes to the top of my To Do List this week. (And yes, I am feeing “Woo-hoo! I get to color!)
Speaking of good creative self-care, starting next month I’ll share info about my 2015 “Create the Christmas of Your Dreams” teleclass/creative self-care group that will meet by phone the first three weeks of December ~ a time of year most of us need more help than ever remembering to take care of ourselves.
Until next time, here’s to saying Yes! to your Creative Oasis,
Jill