My Racist Gratitude
Every morning I write three things that I’m grateful for in my gratitude journal.
Countless times I’ve written the words “I’m grateful to live in the United States of America.”
I now realize that what I was actually grateful for is that I am a white woman living in the USA.
I took it for granted that I enjoy privilege, security, respect, and opportunities not afforded to black people who live in the USA. And what this means is that I am a part of systemic racism am and I have been my entire life.
I’m embarrassed as hell to admit that I am only now opening my eyes to racism as a systemic problem rather than an individual problem.
In other words, until recently, (and I mean VERY recently, as in this year!) I equated racism with “bad/ignorant/evil” individual white people or possibly groups of “bad/ignorant/evil” white people rather than hundreds of years of systematic oppression, inequality and abuse.
Thankfully, like so many people around the world, the murder of George Floyd sparked my desire to take a hard look at racism in America and to begin the long, painful, vulnerable process of examining my place in it and the changes I must make to help put an end to it forever.
In addition to self-centeredness and ignorance on my part, I have failed to speak out in the past, even when I knew it was the right thing to do, for fear of saying the wrong thing. For fear of upsetting people. For fear of hurting people. For fear of getting in over my head.
But that has to change. I have to change. I am committed to change.
I will be educating myself. I will be speaking up. I will be taking action.
And in so doing I will inevitably F up along the way. More than once, I would imagine. But when I do, I pledge to not run and hide. To not give up. To show myself grace and acknowledge I’m learning and to then get back to it.
As I move forward embracing inspiration, seeking education, and taking action, I promise to share with you what I personally learn and do along the way, starting here and now.
Inspiration ~ I follow the art and words of Morgan Harper Nichols.
Education ~ I watched the film 13th on Netflix, an excellent primer on systematic racism in the USA.
Action ~ I called Minneapolis lawmakers, government and police offices to demand the arrest and conviction of all 4 police officers involved in the death of George Floyd.
I invite you to join me on this journey.
With love, light and action,
Jill
Photo: Vonda K Portraits